Elder Brother

At a recent kinship (bible study), the question was asked, "How does God speak to you?" For me, the answer was, "through books!" It is not uncommon for God to take a theme from one book and overlap it with a theme from another book (not uncommon for me to read multiple books simultaneously) or the Bible or a sermon or a worship song. It is when I notice the same theme arising in various places that I know God is trying to speak to me.

I recently found myself reading two books from two very different theological camps, both of which I don't fully prescribe to, and yet, they had a very similar message. And it was a message or a theme I had never heard before! "God, is that you?"

From Tim Keller's The Prodigal God:

"When the elder brother hears from the servants that his younger brother has returned and has been reinstated by his father, he is furious. Now it is his turn to disgrace the father.

He refuses to go in to what is perhaps the biggest feast and public event his father has ever put on. He remains outside the door, publicly casting a vote of no-confidence in his father's actions. This forces the father to come speak to his older son, a demeaning thing to have to do when you are the lord of the manor and host of a great feast. He begins to plead with his eldest son to come in, but he continues to refuse.

Why is the older son so furious? He is especially upset about the cost of all that is happening. He says, 'You've never given me even a goat for a party, how dare you give him the calf?' The fattened calf is only a symbol, however, because what the father has done costs far more than the calf. By bringing the younger brother back into the family he has made him an heir again, with a claim to one-third of their (now very diminished) family wealth. This is unconscionable to the elder brother. He's adding things up. 'I've worked myself to death and earned what I've got, but my brother has done nothing to earn anything, indeed he's merited only expulsion, and ye you lavish him with wealth! Where's the justice in that?' That is why the elder brother refers to his record. 'I have never disobeyed you! So I have rights!' he is saying. 'I deserve to be consulted about this! You have no right to make these decisions unilaterally.'...

...Finally we come to the denouement. How will the father respond to his older son's open rebellion? What will he do? A man of his time and place might have disowned his son on the spot. Instead he responds again with amazing tenderness. 'My son,' he begins, 'despite how you've insulted me publicly, I still want you in the feat. I am not going to disown your brother, but I don't want to disown you, either. I challenge you to swallow your pride and come into the feast. The choice is yours. Will you, or will you not?'...

...Another sign of those with an 'elder brother' spirit is joyless, fear-based compliance. The older son boasts of his obedience to his father, but lets his underlying motivation and attitude slip out when he says, 'All these years I've been slaving for you.' To be sure, being faithful to any commitment involves a certain amount of dutifulness. Often we don't feel like doing what we ought to do, but we do it anyway, for the sake of integrity. But the elder brother shows that his obedience to his father is nothing but duty all the way down. There is no joy or love, no reward in just seeing his father pleased.

In the same way, elder brothers are fastidious in their compliance to ethical norms, and in fulfillment of traditional family, community and civic responsibilities. But it is a slavish, joyless drudgery. The word 'slave' has strong overtones of being forced or pushed rather than drawn or attracted. A slave works out of fear- fear of consequences imposed by force. This gets to the root of what drives an elder brother. Ultimately, elder brothers live good lives out of fear, not out of joy and love...

...The last sign of the elder-brother spirit is a lack of assurance of the father's love. The older son says, 'You never threw me a party.' There is no dancing or festiveness about the elder brother's relationship with his father. As long as you are trying to earn your salvation by controlling God through goodness, you will never be sure you have been good enough for him. You simply aren't sure God loves and delights in you.

What are the signs of this lack of assurance? We have already mentioned one sign: Every time something goes wrong in your life or a prayer goes unanswered, you wonder if it's because you aren't living right in this or that area. Another sign is that criticism from others doesn't just hurt your feelings, it devastates you. This is because your sense of God's love is abstract and has little real power in your life, and you need approval of others to bolster your sense of value..."

From Kris Vallotton's The Supernatural Ways of Royalty:

"Paupers have a poverty mentality. They always feel like their resources are limited. They believe that when someone else receives something, it takes away some of the provision that could be theirs. They surmise that someone else's blessing costs them.

The story of the prodigal son from Luke 15 illustrates this point clearly. Having squandered his inheritance, the youngest son came home seeking refuge. His father was so excited to see him that he threw him a party. He had been saving the fattened calf for such an occasion, and finally it was time to celebrate. Everyone came to the festivity except for the elder brother; he stayed out in the field. When his father didn't see the older brother at the party, he went looking for him. He found him outside alone.

'Why aren't you coming to celebrate?' the father asked.

The older brother yelled, 'You gave him the fattened calf, but you haven't even given me a goat!'

His father was stunned. He looked at his son, staring into his soul with the eyes of a loving father and said, 'I gave him the fattened calf, but you own the farm' (summarized from Luke 15:11-31)

Why in the world did the older brother hang out waiting for his father to give him a goat when he owned the whole farm? He failed to recognize that he was a son and not a servant.

The revelation of our true identity will destroy the spirit of poverty in our lives. Until that happens we will keep thinking there are limits on what we get to have. As a result, we are jealous of anyone who receives something we don't have. This leaks into all aspects of our lives, including work, friends and positions within the church."

So. Do I have a slavish mentality? Do I serve God out of fear instead of relationship? Am I jealous when others receive from Him and I seemingly do not? Do I act like a son or a slave? A prince or a pauper?