My Take

Everyone seems to have their own take on the Sandusky Scandal, and here is mine. I think I'll just list out a few random thoughts and perhaps make my thoughts more cohesive in the future.

I began my college career at James Madison University. I did this because everyone went to Penn State and I wanted to be different. 3 semesters into my time at JMU I was home on Thanksgiving break, and was reading my sister's Penn State Alumni magazine, when I started crying. Yes, crying. I could not imagine being 30 years old and not being a Penn State alum. It was time to transfer. I couldn't explain to you why I needed to be at Penn State, I just knew I had to be.

I transferred in the middle of the year and spent a semester at home attending the local branch campus of Penn State. I applied into the School of Education and was told by University Park that I could stay at the branch campus and graduate from there with my BA in Education. Nope. Not good enough. I had to go to main campus. I contacted the Sociology department and was admitted that day.

Transferring is not an easy thing. I moved onto campus as a junior and began living with the sorority that I had joined at JMU. I think it was obvious to all of us that, had I rushed at Penn State, I would not be a member of this particular sorority, but they were gracious and allowed me to join up anyway.  It wasn't the best fit, but my involvement did change the course of my life.

Through my sorority, Tri Delt, I became involved with the legendary Penn State Dance Marathon, which was one of many reasons I just had to be at PSU. The student fundraisers at JMU seemed dinky in comparison to this behemoth (sorry, Dukes- no hard feelings).  By my senior year I was heavily involved with this fundraiser, which raises money for children who receive cancer treatment at the Hershey Medical Center.  It was through  THON that I met a friend who had the courage and love to share God's love with me. Because of his (and others) prayers and conversations, I eventually became a Christian- just one month after graduation.

I had  love/hate relationship with Penn State. I loved it because it was the quintessential college experience. The campus, the parties, THON- everything was over the top and amazing. However, I was over the top as well and made a plethora of poor choices and bad decisions. It's interesting to look back on what I thought was awesome and to realize it was just stupid and damaging.  My time at Penn State was also a lonely time. Transferring is difficult and is not for the faint of heart.

Even though I only spent two years at Penn State and didn't go to many football games (because I was too hungover), I very much live and breathe the Penn State community and identity that you have heard so much about these past few weeks.  I don't think I realized how much until I was rocked by the news of the scandal this week.  There is nothing like a little rough patch to show you what you hold dear in your heart.  All that to say, here are some random thoughts I have:

• Isn't it interesting that we all seem to have higher expectations for JoePa and Penn State than we do for the Church? Why wasn't there this much backlash about the abuse scandals in the church?  Why do people seem to be more hurt by this than by what clergy have done to children?  Why do we have a higher expectation for the Nittany Lions? 
• In that regard, we have, in some ways, deified JoePa and his program. 
• Though I know that my identity is supposed to be in Christ alone, I do place my identity in other things as well: Penn State alumni, Tri Delt, wife, mother, Greek IV staff, etc.  It has never been more clear that when you place your faith and identity in anything in other God (even the church), you will surely be let down. 
• It does feel creepy to know that while I was walking on campus Sandusky was committing some of these crimes. This is what betrayal feels like: When you find out that something was not as it seemed. When you were under the impression of one thing, and it was something else entirely. 
• Our hearts can be divided and conflicted and we don't always see clearly. If this was Liam who had been abused, I would be seeing red. I think I may have already killed this man. I would be furious with anyone, especially anyone in power, who knew my son was abused and didn't do much about it. And yet, I also see all the good that some of these men have done and feel bad that a whole career, a whole lifetime of giving and donating and loving could be washed away in the blink of an eye. But that, my friends, is the human condition. None of us are good enough. For all the good that we do, we still mess up. We still need forgiveness. Instead of pointing fingers and judging, let's just pray, shall we? Let's admit our own failures, our own need for forgiveness.  Let's pray that in the wake of this scandal, that many people will realize that they will stand before God and need pardon for things they have done.  

I am still proud to be a Nittany Lion. Like some have said "We are NOT Sandusky, Curley or Schultz...We ARE Penn State." We are THON, we are Proud Penn Staters. 

In the wake of this scandal, let's not gossip, point fingers and judge. Let's give. Give our money, give our prayers, give our love.  

And finally, to my Christian friends. I am also proud to be a Christian. If there is one thing that this event has shown me is that, though Penn State's PR team has not responded well in crisis, overall, their marketing and branding is amazing. The way that a university can instill such pride, such community, such identity is profound. If we really believe that Jesus is the Living God, surely we should have an even greater sense of pride and identity and community in Him!