Well, it's been, oh.... 7 or so years since my last post! I guess life got busy, and now it is less so. For the first time in 11 years, all 3 of my kids are at school all day and I am home alone from the hours of 8:30-3:00. As a stay at home parent, this is churning up all sorts of questions about my identity and purpose. It is causing me to question (and be concerned about) my time management skills, or lack thereof.
For many years, I felt betwixt about my SAHM status- I knew it was what I was called to do, but also felt "less-than" because I didn't work. Eventually I came to fully embrace it as I knew it was what was best for our family of five. Now that the kids are all in school, though, I once again have all these thoughts, comparisons, condemnations, and ponderings bubbling up:
If my kids are at school all day, why am I still unable to get everything done? How do working mothers do it?
Should I get a job? If so, doing what?! I'm not qualified to do anything at this point. What am I good at? What do I like? What will I do with the next season of my life? How will I get to that point?
Is it OK to be content with being the SAHM who is available to help as a homeroom parent and to be on-call in case someone needs help with their kids because they're stuck at work? What if I do enjoy that flexibility, but also crave some measure of success or fulfillment?
I don't handle stress well, I can't imagine I'd do well juggling all of family life and a career. I am blessed that we can live on Daniel's salary- I do not take that lightly or for granted. I am privileged to have the luxury of struggling over these questions. And yet, I do want more, I just don't know what that is or how to get there.
More on this at a later date.
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